I must apologise for the delay in blogging once again. I've been on a time management course. I see lots of adverts for such courses, but I plumped for this one after the advert said "Time Management course applicants wanted - No Time Wasters!!!"
I've been hearing some strange lyrics on songs lately. I hear The Killers singing that they got soul but they’re not soldiers. Well that's probably true, but I'd like to point out to The Killers that just because you have something it doesn't necessarily follow that you are also everything that begins with something that sounds like that word. I have a car, but I'm not a carnation, a castle or a cartoon character. I have a fridge, but I'm not a bottled milkshake. I have an arse, but I'm not an arsehole - actually can I re-think my argument and get back to you later. Thanks.
Katy Perry has sung that she kissed a girl and not only did she like it but she hopes her boyfriend don't mind. I think I can put your mind at ease Katy and inform you that your boyfriend won't mind. Katy, Katy, Katy, this really does show a bit of naivety on your part. Not only would he not mind, he probably wants to be there to see it next time. In fact Katy, I think your boyfriend probably knows by now that you did it, so it's a bit late to worry about it really.
A lot of people are naive like Katy. I know I'm not naive because someone told me I wasn't and because I don't really understand whether it's true or not, I just believed them. I also don't believe in fate and I think I was always destined not to really. I think you can make your own fate and I'm sure I saw Konnie Huq make one on Blue Peter once. Konnie Huq - nice girl, but bad teeth. Her teeth look like the end of a packet of Polo's if you had the misfortune to drop them on the way back home from the shops. Come on Konnie, you’ve got the money for a good dentist and I will continue to reject your calls until you visit one, I’m sorry.
My friend is very much into reincarnation and as a result, I am now a born again reincarnationist (my new word for my new life). The final clue came when my pet gerbil told me he used to be the now sadly looking deceased Bruce Forsyth in a previous life. Now you might think that gerbils can't talk but as he used to be a human being he would've learnt how to talk then and despite dying you just don't forget how to do things like that so that proves it.