Not much scares me except spiders with the faces of dragons that will kill me as soon as they touch me that I imagine in my dreams, women in fast cars and the continual threat of a new series of “My Family”. Oh and as I’m a man I’d better say meaningful relationships I suppose. Franklin D Roosevelt once said that the “only thing we have to fear is fear itself". Well maybe he should’ve also had the fear of a cerebral haemorrhage and then possibly he may have lived longer. A lot of people have a fear of dying. This is an illogical fear as you never know, it might not happen to you. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of people, most of whom are sadly no longer with us, but it hasn’t actually happened to me yet to my knowledge.
These days, you can’t smoke in pubs so they are a lot safer. Soon, once alcohol is also banned, we can safely visit bars without the fear of smoking, drinking and having a good night and all will be well with the world (unless you live in Zimbabwe). Which reminds me, can you die of boredom? I will watch the next series of “My Family” and let you know in due course. The UK government, following on from the lead of the US is intent on not only making smokers social outcasts, but soon, drinkers too! Hoorah! Then what vices will we be able to have (apart from those metal squeezy things that your dad has in the shed)? Amphetamines, Marijuana, Heroin and Cocaine I guess like our American cousins (if you have more than one American cousin). See, it’s not all bad. Apparently, years ago people were stoned to death – think how much tobacco and cannabis that would take! I was born too late me – half past one in the morning according to my mum and she swears she was there at the time so I have to take her word for it. I had an arse like a slapped arse at the time I’m told.
Only in human nature can we have such a word as “Phobophobia” which is a fear of fear (why does that word scare me?). Franklin D Roosevelt would be spinning in his grave – mind your head whilst spinning Frank, don’t wanna be doing any more damage. I think fear governs the world. Have you seen how Gordon Brown drops his jaw in horror every time he utters a sentence? And I’ve not even started on terrorism yet but that’s because I can’t get my home made bomb to work yet. I used the wrong amount of baking soda and ended up with a loaf of bread that didn’t go off until 3 days after it’s best before date and most of parliament had left before then to fill in 25 identical claims for the second homes they didn't have or equated to a cardboard box in Oxford Street.